Vital Vegas

Siren’s Cove is Back at TI, Sans Sirens, But With Some New Industrial Park Flair

The “Sirens of TI” lagoon has experienced some shrinkage in recent months, but it’s looking good, and even boasts a few modest water features. It’s no Bellagio, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Since the closing of the “Sirens of TI” show, the Las Vegas Strip has 91% less siren.

Treasure Island officially closed its popular “Sirens of TI” show back in November, 2013. To be more specific, “Sirens of TI” closed on Oct. 19, 2013, but it wasn’t officially announced the show was permanently closed until Nov. 26, 2013.

While the show attracted crowds of visitors, it apparently didn’t attract the kind of visitors that stick around and spend money.

Here’s a hastily slapped-together video of the downsized Sirens Cove at Treasure Island.

Given the high cost of producing the pyrotechnic-heavy “Sirens of TI” show, with little to show for it, TI decided to drain its Buccaneer Bay and lop off a third of it to make room for a three-story, 48,000-square-foot shopping complex.

TI’s new shopping mall has all the glitz and glamor you’d expect from a Las Vegas hotel, as long as you define “glitz and glamor” as “looking like something you’d find in an industrial park.”

We’re pretty sure TI is trying to make this blog weep openly in public.

We’re having trouble thinking of another development project on The Strip that’s inspired more “meh” than this architectural tumor.

Please, just push us into traffic, already.

The proposal for the project may have oversold it, as the original proposal said, “The facades of the building show varying geometrical shapes and depths, with exterior colors consisting of vivid hues.” Define “vivid.”

The new shopping complex will presumably host a pharmacy, retail shops, restaurants and possibly an auto dealership. This is the point where most people yawn so powerfully they come close to dislocated their jawbone.

All hope is lost.

The shopping area at TI follows a recent Las Vegas trend, using shopping to generate revenue where there previously was none. Other shopping developments are happening at Bally’s Las Vegas (Grand Bazaar Shops), New York-New York and Monte Carlo (The Park promenade) and Tropicana.

While the lagoon appears to be finished, TI’s shopping mall has a long way to go, at least according to this photo we snapped during our security breach.

It appears tenants are as excited about this as we are. Cue the crickets.

We can’t help but pine for the TI’s over-the-top pirate show, an iconic Las Vegas attraction ever since TI opened in 1993. The story was paper-thin and the dialogue was so bad it seemed to have been written by dropping a wet cat on a keyboard, but still, it was free, it was loud and fleshy, and about as Las Vegas as Las Vegas gets.

Behold the precise place where Las Vegas past and Las Vegas future intersect.

TI’s new shopping complex is expected to open soon, followed almost immediately by what we assume will be a dramatic increase in reports of dislocated jawbones.