We Security Breached the Crap Out of White Castle at Casino Royale

We have no idea why, but the opening of a White Castle on the Las Vegas Strip is one of the most-anticipated events in the history of ever.

White Castle at Casino Royale is scheduled to open by the end of 2014. Or is it? We asked ominously.

First, a look at the fancy new Walgreen’s and expanded Denny’s (the nation’s most profitable) at Casino Royale. No security breach here, as the work can be seen from the sidewalk outside. Which is where most sidewalks are kept, come to think of it.

Denny's Walgreens
Yes, we’ve been reduced to writing about Denny’s, Walgreen’s and White Castle. We blame the Millenials.

You can’t miss the newly-expanded Denny’s as it sports a massive, color-shifting fork.

Denny's fork
Early forks were considered “pronged monstrosities.” Which, we might add, would make a great band name.

Next to the over-sized fork, you can see the exterior of the future White Castle at Casino Royale, replete with scaffolding, a sight as exciting to this Las Vegas blog as lap dances and construction walls, and not necessarily in that order.

White Castle Las Vegas
This should count as a security breach. There was a fence. Sort of.

Now, here’s where it gets tricky.

The White Castle space is as locked down as it gets in Las Vegas. There are 12-foot tall construction walls that run the entire length of the casino, plus strategically installed plastic sheeting above that, attached firmly to the ceilings. Zero access, even with a drone. Mission impossible.

Then again, doing the impossible is this blog’s middle name. Which, as you can imagine, is very confusing on our tax forms.

In the casino’s food court area, there was a tiny hole in the plastic, about 14 feet up, we couldn’t resist breaching, hard.

White Castle Las Vegas
We probably should have told you to lower your expectations.

No major revelation here, other than the fact there’s a lot of work to be done before White Castle can open for its surprisingly rabid fans.

After exploring the restaurant perimeter for, oh, an hour, we discovered another tiny opening in the plastic, again 14 feet up. It was just off the casino. What we’re saying is for you, our hapless blog reader, we risked being blacklisted by White Castle. Here’s an exclusive look. At not very much.

White Castle
There’s a chance Casino Royale’s White Castle is being built by sloths. Possibly union sloths.

It’s never easy to gauge how long a Vegas restaurant will take to launch. Many are bare bones one week and open the next. It remains to be seen if White Castle will open on schedule.

Since we’d already risked Tasing and a body cavity search, we thought we’d point our camera in the direction of Casino Royale’s table game area. To our dismay, there is but a lone remaining craps table in the casino with what we believe are the best craps odds (20x odds) on the Las Vegas Strip.

Casino Royale
Curse you, change.

At one time, there were four craps tables at Casino Royale, and even then it was tough to get a spot most nights.

Oh, the times they are a changing at Casino Royale. Bigger Denny’s. New Walgreen’s. New White Castle. And a serious reduction in craps tables.

By the way, Casino Royale isn’t even the Casino Royale anymore! Since last year, it’s been the Best Western Plus Casino Royale, because that rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?

Craps sadness aside, it’s great to see some new life at Casino Royale. The casino is the last of a dying breed on The Strip. The hooch is cheap, the dealers are surly and soon, there will be tiny, square burgers. Which we plan to breach a dozen of the first day White Castle opens. The things we do for you.