Vital Vegas

Outraged Grammarians Picket The Cosmopolitan, Claim “Rose.Rabbit.Lie. is the Last Straw”

About 200 protesters marched outside The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas, incensed about the hotel’s soon-to-open restaurant and nightclub venue, enigmatically named Rose.Rabbit.Lie.

The bulk of the protesters were self-described “grammar Nazis,” upset about the seemingly indiscriminate punctuation used in the venue’s name.

Protestors assert Rose.Rabbit.Lie. has the “right amount of wrong punctuation, if by ‘right’ you mean ‘wrong.'”

A protestor equipped with a bullhorn, representing Grammarians Local 103, said, “We’ve endured indignities from Las Vegas casinos for some time now. It started with rampant capitalization. PURE. COLOR salon. TAO. Then came a flood of exclamation points. ‘Jubliee!’ ‘Vegas! The Show.’ ‘Panda!’ We just took it. But now, we’re standing up for what’s right. You don’t get to put periods between random words like that. The Cosmopolitan has thrown down the gauntlet, and we’re fighting back. Although, we’re grammarians, so it’s not like we’re going to raise our voices or litter or anything. This bullhorn is just for effect.”

As promised, the grammarian picket line was one of the most courteous in recent memory. While other protests on The Strip have gotten rather nasty, with protest participants being described as “utter asshats” (mainly by this blog), the Rose.Rabbit.Lie. protestors opened casino doors for visitors and even offered to correct spelling errors in their text messages to co-workers and loved ones.

Mobile billboards have intensified the conflict between The Cosmopolitan and the grammarians union.

Representatives at The Cosmopolitan appear unwilling to revisit the naming of Rose.Rabbit.Lie. Off-the-record, a high-ranking executive confided, “At one point, we were going to go with a name where some of the letters appeared upside down and backwards. These people would’ve lost their minds. It’s not like we’re splitting infinitives or something. We’re not animals.”

Find out more about Rose.Rabbit.Lie., set to debut at The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas on Dec. 30, 2013.

Controversy aside, we’re looking forward to experiencing this “grand social experiment” for ourselves. Period.