Vital Vegas

Las Vegas Casino Chip Designs We’d Like to See

For years, Las Vegas casinos have designed and issued collectible chips. Why? Because if you buy a chip and take it home without cashing it in, that’s gravy for the casino!

We have lots of these special edition chips in our chip collection, so we thought it was high time we whipped up some casino chip designs of our own. Here, then, are 10 casino chip designs we’d like to see. Patent pending. Or whatever.

First up in our chip design gallery, it’s the Stratosphere.

Tone set, bar lowered.

While we’re on the north end of the Las Vegas Strip (motto: “Business is So Slow Here, We Can’t Afford a Motto”), may as well hit SLS Las Vegas, too.

This statue is an artistic interpretation of Sam Nazarian, founder of SBE, the company that owns 10% of SLS Las Vegas. Alternatively, it’s Patrick from “SpongeBob SquarePants.” In either case, WTF.

Speaking of lapses in judgment, don’t even get us started about the Grand Bazaar Shops at Bally’s Las Vegas.

This is what happens when a rainbow falls into a wood chipper.

Let’s head back downtown for a minute, to the world headquarters of craps.

That sound you hear is every dealer in Las Vegas saying, “Seriously.”

While some of our chip designs are meant to be playful jabs, others are based upon a deep-seated antagonism parading as playful jabs. This would be one of that.

This is not intended to be a slam against all Parisians, especially the two tolerable ones.

Meanwhile, Downtown Grand.

Conundrum: If you can only pick on one thing, how do you decide which thing?

Are we having fun yet?

The next casino chip we’d like to see puts the spotlight on a Las Vegas artist who has endured endless barbs from moronic blogs just like this one.

That’s putting us in our place.

Now seems like a good time to highlight the Las Vegas resort we recently voted “Most Likely to Send This Blog a Cease-and-Desist Letter.”

Then again, it’s not libel if it’s true.

And now, torn from today’s headlines, which we should probably be writing rather than making fake casino chips, it’s another puerile pun!

If you were not aware Palms Las Vegas now has the world’s biggest Hooters, you need to visit certain Las Vegas blogs far more frequently. Ahem.

And, finally, a chip we’d purchase dozens of to give as presents during the holidays. If they actually existed. Or if we ever gave gifts during the holidays.

Pharmacies are to Las Vegas as lemons are to paper cuts.

Please, Las Vegas casinos, make these collectible chips happen. Set aside your “self-interest” and your “dignity” and, perhaps most importantly, your “teams of lawyers who insist upon blogs ceasing and desisting.”

Can you think of other casino chips you’d like to see? Leave a comment and let us know. Before sharing your idea, though, you should probably patent it first. Or whatever.