Experts Claim “Sirens of TI” Show at Treasure Island “May Not Be Historically Accurate”

It’s a first for Las Vegas. A group of academics is going public with shocking allegations that the “Sirens of TI,” a free show at Treasure Island seen by millions of Las Vegas visitors, “may not be historically accurate.”

Can "Sirens of TI' stand up to historical fact? Experts say "no."

New findings have shivered the timbers of the Las Vegas entertainment community.

The scholars claim their conclusions are the result of in-depth research, including “dozens if not hundreds” of viewings of the “Sirens of TI” show.

“The show, while ‘entertaining,’ simply can’t stand up to rigorous scrutiny in the context of known facts about what’s commonly known as the Golden Age of Piracy,” said one expert.

The lead siren, seemingly unaware of the show's numerous inaccuracies.

The lead siren, seemingly unaware of the show’s numerous inaccuracies.

The group of historians has compiled its findings in a 141-page report, expected to be published in a major academic magazine in the next few months. The report underwent extensive peer review, described by one insider as “having a friend skim through it real quick.”

The flaws in the “Sirens of TI” are many, although the report focuses on the most glaring problems.

Says one expert, “First, there are no records whatsoever of an all-female crew on any seafaring vessel during the 1600s, or even the 1700s, as irresponsibly depicted in the production at Treasure Island.”

“Beyond that, the attire worn by both the ‘sirens’ and pirates in the show grossly misrepresents clothing of the pirate era,” claims another historian. “Imagine trying to perform even the simplest tasks on a pirate ship, such as hanging a jib or battening down a hatch, in such garb. Unfathomable! Which, I’m fully aware is a wonderful nautical pun, however unintended.”

This clothing would have provided little or no protection from the elements on a pirate ship.

This clothing would have provided little or no protection from the elements on a real ship such as the Jolly Roger or Black Pearl.

And speaking of puns, the naysaying scholars take particular issue with the dialogue in the “Sirens of TI” show.

“The use of modern vernacular in this show is inexcusable. Particularly distressing is the flagrant use of puns and double entendres. In the entirely of recorded history, no pirate has ever knowingly made a sexual pun. They run rampant in the sirens show, however.”

The report cites examples of such puns, including anachronistic references to “booty” and “seamen.” In one portion of the show, a pirate shouts, “Ahoy! Ahoy!” One of the sirens responds, “Hey, who you calling a hoy?” While brilliant in terms of scriptwriting, experts point out that playing fast-and-loose with historical accuracy could be misleading to show-goers.

“At one point in the production, a character makes a reference to DJs,” says one flabbergasted academic. “This is beyond the pale. DJs were not used on naval vessels until well into the 1970s, around the time of the invention of the mirrored disco ball.”

The list of historical errors in “Sirens of TI” is seemingly endless. “No functioning ship would ever have a spiral staircase as a mast. Imagine the wind shear,” says the report.

It's as if the show fabricated this staircase for "dramatic effect."

It’s as if the show fabricated this staircase for “dramatic effect.”

The scathing report also calls into question the amount of research done prior to producing the popular show.

“When prisoners were taken in the days of piracy, they were treated quite poorly. In ‘Sirens of TI,’ one of the pirates is surrounded by beautiful women during his captivity. This seems to convey the message that being a prisoner could almost be construed as a positive thing. Ludicrous!”

"The plight of real pirate captives was exceptionally more dire," asserts the report.

“The plight of real pirate captives was exceptionally more dire,” asserts the report.

“Children are very impressionable,” states one scholar. “They don’t realize sirens are mythological. They also don’t realize there were no hair dyes or breast implants during the age of pirates. Do we want our children to think pirates were constantly breaking into dance? Of course not. We owe it to them to get it right.”

Fabricated inquiries made to those involved with the “Sirens of TI” show have gone unanswered.

If you’re considering attending the “Sirens of TI” show, despite the warnings of reputable academicians, please note the show will be closed Oct. 21 through Dec. 25, 2013 for construction. Treasure Island is building a new shopping complex. Which we also suspect will ruffle feathers among historians.

Judge the validity of these startling revelations for yourself as you view our photo gallery of Sirens of TI at Treasure Island.

Sirens of TI

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