Vital Vegas

Casino Exec’s Shocking Confession: “Naming Things Is Hard”

In a bold admission likely to send shock waves through the Las Vegas hotel and gaming industry, a prominent casino executive has confessed what many have speculated, saying, “Naming things is hard.”

In recent years, Las Vegas hotels have seemingly given up trying to be creative in naming their restaurants, bars and other venues. Instead, they’ve begun simply naming these venues what they are.

Admittedly, the name of The Lounge at Excalibur isn’t difficult to remember.

One high-ranking casino executive, who asked he remain anonymous for fear of reprisals, admits the hotels have collectively hit a creative wall.

The executive states, “Let’s face it. We have a lot of things to name. It seems like there’s a new bar or restaurant every week in Las Vegas. You do the math.”

Monte Carlo’s buffet is one of eight in Las Vegas named some variation of “The Buffet,” according to research firm J.K. Grence and Associates.

He continues, “Good names can be an economic burden as well. Nobody owns the word ‘buffet.’ It’s in the public domain, so we can avoid having to pay licensing fees. That Quad name? A name that clever is costing them a fortune, believe me. THEhotel? Pretty much free.”

Random capitalization doesn’t mitigate the problem, sorry.

The practice of naming things what they are isn’t just limited to The Strip, of course.

This bar at Golden Nugget, The Bar, is currently being expanded. Insiders tell us the new name will be The New Bar.

Some critics have suggested Las Vegas hotels are taking the easy way out, settling for obvious, mundane names rather than investing intellectual capital in more creative, engaging alternatives.

So, it’s a bar in the Excalibur lobby, then?

“Those people don’t know what we’re up against,” says our source. “We’ve seen this time and time again. Creativity can backfire. We’re not here to be creative. We’re not Cirque performers. We’re here to make money. And time is money. When you call something what it is, you save a lot of time.”

Naming the food court at Bally’s Las Vegas “Food Court” saved the hotel untold thousands of dollars in thinking costs.

The casino executive adds, “And another thing, Las Vegas is an international destination. Non-English speakers don’t need their visits complicated by words they don’t understand.”

After we pointed out that the venues named-what-they-are have been given names in English, the executive mumbled something along the lines of, “These are tough economic times.”

The executive was unable to provide additional clarification.