Monthly Archives: September 2013

VooDoo Zip Line Set to Lift Off in Early November, 2013

It takes a special kind of crazy, known in some circles as “fearlessness,” to ride and enjoy a zip line.

The new zip line at Rio Las Vegas, the VooDoo Zip Line, will test your mettle to the extreme in early November, 2013.

Downtown’s zip line was so popular, they’re building an entire attraction around it, SlotZilla. We suspect the VooDoo Zip Line will be even more successful given the views the ride will provide of the Las Vegas Strip.

Do we get sweaty palms from a rendering? Why yes, yes we do.

Do we get sweaty palms from a rendering? Why yes. Yes, we do.

The VooDoo Zip Line will run between the two hotels at Rio Las Vegas. Yikes factor: Extraordinary.

The new ride will send passengers 33 miles per hour from the taller Masquerade tower, 40 stories up (the Rio claims to be 51 stories, but it’s really 41, due to the floor numbers skipping 40-49, Asian superstition-wise), to the 20-story Ipanema tower, more than 490 feet above the ground. The very, very hard, unforgiving ground.

Unlike a lot of other zip lines, this one will accommodate two riders at once. The ride will cover a third of a mile, and run both forward and backward.

The VooDoo Zip Line is currently running a crowd-sourced marketing effort on Indiegogo, so take a look.

Here’s a little flavor.

The new ride will run from noon to midnight starting in early November. Admission is $24.99 per person from noon until 5:30 p.m., and $37 from 5:30 p.m. until midnight. Learn more.

Ready to take a ride on the newest thrill ride in Sin City? Rest assured, this Las Vegas blog will be watching with unbridled exhilaration, from the ground far, far below.

The Best Las Vegas Development Project, Ever

Lots of Las Vegas developments delayed due to the economic crisis are springing back to life now!

We’re holding out hope this particular development project will be back, because it just might be the perfect project for Las Vegas.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

“Why is it perfect for Las Vegas?” you ask, petulantly.

Well, “teton” means “teat” (or boob) in French. (Hence, the Grand Tetons means “big boobs,” because of the mountain range’s shape.) “Promenade,” of course, can mean “dance.”

So, “Promenade Teton” would mean “booby dance.” We understand there are establishments in Las Vegas capable of providing just that.

Fingers crossed.

Today’s Las Vegas Panty-Dropper Cocktail

It’s our ongoing mission to seek out some of the most seductive cocktails in Las Vegas to provide you and your special someone a little social lubrication.

In this installment, it’s the magnificent “Hemingway Visits Asia” at Twist restaurant and bar in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. No, the Mandarin doesn’t have a casino, but after you try this cocktail, all will be forgiven.

Prepare to have your tongue enveloped by awesome.

Soon, your tongue will be awash in awesome.

Here’s what’s in this delectable intoxicant: Bacardi Dragon Berry rum, Cedilla Açai liqueur, Luxardo Cherry liqueur, lime juice and a splash of grapefruit.

Bonus trivia: A “cedilla” is a “ç” with a little tail, as in the word “Açai” (pronounced ah-sigh-ee, by the way.) Honestly, what visit to Las Vegas wouldn’t be improved by a little tail?

The Hemingway Visits Asia cocktail will set you back $18, but remember: 1) it’s the Mandarin Oriental, 2) the view is incredible at Twist, 3) did we mention the panty-dropping part?

You’re welcome.

Today’s Vegas Money-Saving Tip: Skip the Magnum Condoms

We’ve lost count of the times we’ve seen guys buying Magnum condoms during their Vegas visit. It seems to be a time-honored Sin City ritual.

We get it guys, you’re huge. But here’s the thing. You’re also big dopes.

You're in for a rude awakening.

You’re in for a rude awakening.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Magnum condoms are a marketing ploy. Trust us, Las Vegas knows a thing or two about marketing ploys.

Here’s the skinny. A box of 12 regular Trojan condoms sells for about $6. A box of Magnums goes for about $8. That’s a hefty mark-up, especially when you consider they’re virtually the same product.

See, regular Trojan and the Magnum are each two inches wide at the base. A regular Trojan condom is 7.8 inches long, as opposed to 8.12 inches for the Magnum. That’s a mere 0.32-inch difference.

The only real difference between regular and Magnums is the width of the shaft end, and it’s not much of a difference at all.

Regular Trojans are two inches wide and Magnums are 2.5 inches. Given that the length and base widths are virtually the same, that difference really only amounts to Magnums having a strange shape, not any real accommodation for a guy’s perceived awesomeness.

By the way, real men don't litter.

By the way, real men don’t litter.

Fun fact: Trojan has never advertised Magnums, because it doesn’t need to. Guys are swift like that.

So, save your self some bucks and skip the ego trip during your next trip to Las Vegas.

Our Favorite Lunch Deal in Las Vegas: Palm Restaurant

Palm Restaurant calls it the “Three Course Power Lunch,” but this blog calls it heaven.

Although you might be more familiar with The Palms hotel-casino, this is unrelated to that. Palm restaurant is in the The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace, and its prix fixe lunch menu is one of the best lunch deals in Las Vegas. And by extension, the world.

This is where they keep the awesome.

This is where they keep the OMFG.

Doing a prix fixe lunch means your choices are narrowed down for you. Thankfully, Palm narrows down the options to either “fantastic” or “incredible,” and all for one reasonable price of $25.90, especially considering the quality and quantity of the food.

The fresh bread isn’t technically one of the three courses, but it gets your lunch off to a fine start.

"Don't fill up on bread," we said, knowing full well you're going to fill up on bread.

“Don’t fill up on bread,” we said, knowing full well you’re going to fill up on bread.

The first course officially begins with a choice of mixed green salad, a classic Caesar or the Chef’s Soup of the Day.

Nothing too fancy, but tasty, nonetheless.

Nothing too fancy, but tasty, nonetheless.

The meat of the meal is the entree, and the second course is a choice of chicken parmigiana, filet mignon medallions, an Atlantic salmon fillet (with roasted red pepper sauce and mango salsa) or a Fish Special of the Day.

We went with the manhole-sized chicken parm, of course, as it is the measure of any great restaurant. Yes, even the sushi places.

Voted best chicken parmigiana on the Las Vegas Strip. By, you know, this blog.

Voted best chicken parmigiana on the Las Vegas Strip. By, you know, this blog.

There’s an option to upgrade the filet mignon to Crabmeat Oscar (just $5 more), making it extra surf-and-turfy.

This could easily run $40-50, on its own, elsewhere on The Strip.

This dish alone could easily run $40-50 elsewhere on The Strip.

As if all this food weren’t enough, the prix fixe menu also comes with a side dish, including a vegetable of the day or linguini marinara.

Bonus: Signature cocktails, with names like the Palm Punch, Double Cross Mule, Palm Sunrise and the Pucker Up Lemon Drop.

Not included, but sort of required. It's Las Vegas.

Not included, but sort of required. It’s Las Vegas.

Just when you think you’ve hit the wall, there’s more. The dessert course is either a monster-sized slice of New York-style cheesecake or a flourless chocolate cake.

The waiter brought this to our table on a forklift.

The waiter brought this to our table on a forklift.

The service is great, and the restaurant’s patio is prime real estate for people-watching, too.

Not a bad view.

Our answer to the question: “Does it feel like I’m eating in a mall?”

See all the options at the official Palm restaurant site, and let us know what you think. Especially the part where you have to be wheeled out due to your increased happiness density.

Lunch at The Palm Restaurant

Five Decrepit Music Legends You Can See in Las Vegas

Las Vegas has a way of making us all feel like kids again! It’s an adult playground, after all.

So, it’s not surprise many aging music stars make their way to Vegas to show the world they’ve still got it. Here are five guys in their 60s you can catch in Las Vegas.

1. Alice Cooper

“The Godfather of Shock Rock” might be more appropriately called “The Grandfather of Shock Rock” these days, but whatever you call him, Alice Cooper (65) is coming to The Palms on Nov. 27, 2013.

Things that are timeless: Alice Cooper, fake blood, boa constrictors.

Alice Cooper has single-handedly kept the fake blood industry in the black for decades.

2. Meat Loaf

Mr. Loaf (65) has brought his unique brand of belting to Planet Hollywood for 18 shows through Nov. 5, 2013. Meat Loaf’s performances are part of a larger series featuring rock royalty, “RockTellz & CockTails.”

At one time, Meat Loaf gained nearly 70 pounds to avoid being drafted into the army.

At one time, Meat Loaf gained nearly 70 pounds to avoid being drafted into the army.

3. Carlos Santana

Carlos Santana (66) may not be a great driver, but he certainly can wail on the guitar. He’s a resident performer at the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay.

Carlos Santana learned to play the violin at age 5. Playing the guitar has paid a little better.

Carlos Santana learned to play the violin at age 5. Playing the guitar has paid a little better.

4. Elton John

Elton John (66) continues to display his box office clout, packing them in at Caesars Palace as a resident headliner. Just remember, old guys can get cranky, so plan accordingly. Here’s a list of his upcoming shows.

Elton John, the man who inspired millions to request that Tony Danza hold them closer.

Elton John, the man who inspired millions to request that Tony Danza hold them closer.

5. Lou Gramm

His name might not be as recognizable as the other folks on this list, but Lou Gramm (63) is part of music’s elite, nevertheless. He was the lead singer of Foreigner, with a number of hits and legions of fans. Gramm will be appearing in “Raiding the Rock Vault” at LVH (formerly the Las Vegas Hilton), Oct. 18-22, 2013. Learn more about this show that brings together rock’s “Cocoon” club.

If there were ever going to be a superhero with the power to copy edit, he would be given Lou Gramm's real name: Louis Andrew Grammatico.

If there were ever going to be a superhero with the power to proofread, he would be given Lou Gramm’s real last name: Grammatico.

Bonus Old Guy: David Bowie

Nothing’s been confirmed, but rumors are swirling about David Bowie (66) coming to Las Vegas, at least according to our buddy, Norm Clarke, at the Las Vegas Review Journal.

First rule of rock immortality? Hire someone who's good with Photoshop.

First rule of rock immortality? Hire someone who’s good with Photoshop. See also Elton John.

Come see music greats as they desperately cling to their former glory!

Which, we’re thinking, would make a great tourism slogan for the Las Vegas Visitors and Convention Authority.