15 Las Vegas Hotel Photos Guaranteed to Result in Crushing Disappointment

Las Vegas does a lot of things well, and marketing tends to be one of them. In some cases, though, Las Vegas hotels just blow it. The photos used to advertise Las Vegas hotels and their amenities can be contrived, Photoshopped to a high sheen and generally awkward.

Here, then, are 15 of our favorite Las Vegas hotel photos that miss the mark by a mile.

1. The Lounge

Real people don’t look like this or laugh like this. We hope.

"How do we get rid of this guy now that he's bought us drinks?"

“How do we get rid of this guy now that he’s bought us drinks?”

2. The Pool at New York-New York

Just a bunch of people hanging out at the pool, caught in the act, spontaneous-like.

Hey, how'd an old guy get in this photo? That almost never happens.

Hey, how’d an old guy get in this photo? That almost never happens.

3. The Pool at MGM

Who are these photos supposed to appeal to? Does anyone actually think they show real patrons, and if so, have they suffered a head injury recently?

If you're not cringing, you may be in a coma.

If you’re not cringing, you may be in a coma.

4. M Life Moment

No casino has ever been this perfectly lit, and you will never, ever see people who look like this playings slots together.

Hey, look, Michael Jackson is being touched inappropriately back!

Hey, look, Michael Jackson is being touched inappropriately back!

5. Nine Fine Irishmen

This one just exudes reality! Assuming there’s a modeling convention in town.

What, not a single person is having a bad day?

What, not a single person is having a bad day?

6. Good Times at the New York-New York Pool

Pool photos, by their nature, seem to be serious culprits when it comes to B.S. advertising photos.

Hotties, check. Diversity, check. Fedora, check. Unscripted fun, not so much.

Hotties, check. Diversity, check. Fedora, check. Unscripted fun, not so much.

7. The Blackjack Table at The D

Granted, these players look a little less like models, but there’s still a lot of B.S. going on here. Why? One of the players stood on 10. Oops.

Where can we get some of these completely real, very colorful cocktails?

Where can we get some of these completely real, very colorful cocktails?

8. The Usual Crowd at MGM

Fakery never gets old. And by “never,” we mean, “always.”

At least they got the breast implant ratio right this time.

At least they got the breast implant ratio right this time.

9. The Suite

Somebody in this May-December romance is about to pop their cork at New York-New York. Or start a fire. By the way, these appear to be the same two people pretending to play slots earlier, so one can only imagine what’s going to be faked in their room.

Las Vegas seems to have an endless supply of WTF.

Las Vegas seems to have an endless supply of WTF.

10. Schmoozing at the Pool

There’s a slight chance not everyone in this MGM Grand photo is a model. The lifeguard, we’re thinking.

Nothing screams "staged photo" like pecs.

Nothing screams “staged photo” like pecs.

11. Outside The Mirage

This is all fun and games until you realize somebody thinks we’re really, really dumb.

Just three random woman wandering by The Mirage.

Just three random woman wandering by The Mirage. At the exact moment of a volcanic eruption.

12. Dinner on the Patio

People in these advertising photos always seem to have just heard a really funny joke.

We'd laugh more if these photos weren't so painful.

We’d laugh more if these photos weren’t so painfully manipulative.

13. Teppanyaki Restaurant

Another “on-the-fly” snapshot from from MGM Grand. Nothing sells a restaurant like flames and people of color. Just not too much color, of course.

Models eat very well in Las Vegas. When they eat.

Models eat very well in Las Vegas. When they eat.

14. Poolside Foreplay

We’re just hanging out at the pool. Having fun. With our fedora. And nobody else around. Except our Photoshop guy.

Maybe it's just one joke, and every model knows it.

Maybe it’s just one joke, and every model knows it.

15. Stratosphere Pool

Thanks for joining the fun, Stratosphere. We just love you brightened and sharpened to perfection.

Thinking Vegas visitors are this dumb takes balls.

Thinking Vegas visitors are this dumb takes balls.

What can we do about these dopey, staged advertising photos from Las Vegas hotels? Well, we can tell them we think they’re dopey and staged. Many of these photos are shared on Facebook pages and Twitter, and other social media platforms. Let them know we’re not falling for the faux fun.

These embarrassing, artifice-filled photos are remnants of a bygone era, when customers just gobbled up whatever marketing and advertising departments churned out. They’re not just condescending, they’re bizarre.

We demand the real deal, not some glossy, manufactured B.S. version of reality. There’s a reason we trust our friends’ photos, and even those of strangers (and Las Vegas blogs) more than “official” hotel photos on the Web or in brochures.

Enough is enough.

See more stupid Las Vegas casino ads.

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10 thoughts on “15 Las Vegas Hotel Photos Guaranteed to Result in Crushing Disappointment

  1. JeffinOKC

    Golly, Scott, the only reason we go to Las Vegas is to view the “beautiful people” seen in the photos provided. If we wanted to see normal people in a casino, we would go to one of the half dozen casinos within 20 minutes of our house in OKC. Whattya gonna do next, tell me I can’t win at slots in “Vegas”?
    This reminds me of the first time we went to the Palms in 2006. Spent 2 hours looking around at other pudgy white people who were also wondering where Paris, Hef and Holly were.

    Reply
  2. JK Grence

    #2: This is the most accurate photo of the bunch just because the old guy is in a blue Speedo.

    #6: They waxed the bartender’s chest just to make sure there wouldn’t be a single chest hair anywhere, even way in the background poking out of a shirt.

    #7: The next person was even worse, doubling down on a FOUR.

    #8: The last time I laid on the ottoman like that, they yelled at me.

    #9: The champagne, the candles, the tray of chocolate-covered strawberries… I’m supposed to play “Ho / Not A Ho?” while IN Vegas, not while looking at advertising OF Vegas.

    #11: You can tell the picture was taken at sunrise because of the soft light. And because they’re not being crushed by a throng of crowds when the volcano is going off.

    #15: This ad brought to you by Monster and Heineken.

    Reply
  3. Matt S.

    The same couple are shown in #4 and #9. Why on earth does the women have her head at such an odd angles in both shots? Creepy. On the whole, these remind me of bad beer commercials. I’m all for seeing beautiful people, but I have never seen one sitting at a slot machine. The blackjack hand in #7, nice catch. How hard is it to show a legitimately realistic hand?

    Reply
  4. Tod Hunter

    As long as we’re talking about staged phony Las Vegas pictures, how about the granddaddy of them all, complete with high-diver caught in midair?

    Reply

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