12 Christmas Things That Mean Something Very Different in Las Vegas

Las Vegas knows a thing or two about Christmas. In fact, Sin City’s biggest export is merriment. Some Christmas traditions and terms, though, mean something entirely different in the context of Las Vegas.

Here’s a Las Vegas take on some common holiday terms.

1. Holiday Spirit

In Las Vegas, a spirit tends to mean a “stong distilled liquor.” Important distinction.

Martini

A little something for when the weather outside is frightful.

2. Stocking Stuffer

Innocent Christmas traditions often lose their innocence in Sin City. In this instance, it’s not that kind of stocking.

Stripper

Warning: In Vegas, stuffing a stocking may result in unintended pregnancy or extreme sticker shock. Or both.

3. Donning Gay Apparel

One of the longest-running shows on the Las Vegas Strip is Frank Marino’s “Divas Las Vegas” at The Quad. You’ll survive.

Divas Las Vegas

And may all your Christmases be dragtacular.

4. Jingle Bells

Bells were one of the earliest slot machine symbols, and in Las Vegas, that jingle is the sweet sound of coins hitting the hopper.

Jingle Bells slot machine

The “Jingle Bells” song is actually named “One Horse Open Sleigh,” and was intended to be a Thanksgiving song.

5. Holly

Elsewhere in the world, people hear “holly” and think Christmas. In Las Vegas, we think of Holly Madison, former star of TV’s “The Girls Next Door” and “Holly’s World,” as well as “Peepshow” at Planet Hollywood.

Holly Madison

Holly can deck our halls anytime.

6. Frosty

It rarely snows in Las Vegas, so when we hear “Frosty,” we don’t think of snowmen, we think of beer served in a chilled mug. Twin Peaks at Harmon Center, for example, serves its beer at temperatures below freezing. Frosty is right!

Twin Peaks beer

The potential for frostbite is completely worth it.

7. Yule Logs

If you’re in the Las Vegas state of mind, this is what leaps to mind when you hear “yule logs.” The Chippendales!


8. Decorative Balls

Sorry, Christmas, our High Roller balls are epic.

High Roller wheel

The High Roller is the world’s tallest observation wheel.

9. Noël, Vixen, Comfort and Joy

Some hear those words and think, “Merry Christmas!” In Las Vegas, we tend to think “stripper names.” Please tip generously during the holidays, folks, these young women are working their way through college. Probably.

strippers

The good news is that, like Rudolph, they’ll go down. In history!

10. Wise Men

In the nativity story, they’re wise men. In Vegas, they’re wise guys. It’s probably wise to keep the two groups separate, otherwise you’ll have goodfellas skimming the myrrh or roughing up the drummer boy for some extra vigorish.

Mobsters

Mob protection rackets are known for keeping alive the tradition of “we won’t go until we get some.”

11. Ho, Ho, Ho

Hey, we don’t make up the sexist double standards, we just report them.

Society's double standards

In Las Vegas, it’s sort of required.

12. All is Bright (neon)

All is rarely calm in Las Vegas, but you can bet it’s always bright. In fact, Las Vegas is one of the brightest places on Earth.

Neon

Las Vegas didn’t invent neon, but it perfected it.

We trust that clears some things up!

Here’s hoping you’re having a spectacular holiday season, whether you’re spending it in Las Vegas or not. (And if not, why not?)

Christmas Las Vegas

And I heard him exclaim ere he rode out of sight, “You don’t have to get a W-2G IRS form for slot jackpots less than $1,200.” Which doesn’t rhyme. Merry Christmas, anyway!

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