The Six Most-Retouched Performers in Las Vegas

Photoshop is such a wonderful tool. It allows us to imagine what the High Roller observation wheel will look like with all its passenger pods weeks before they’re actually put into place, for example.

But as with just about any tool, Photoshop can be used both responsibly and irresponsibly. In Las Vegas, that sometimes means designers go overboard when using Photoshop to retouch performers. Sadly, in some cases, excessive retouching is done at the behest of the performer. In many cases, the retouching is shameless and recurring.

Here, then, are the six most-retouched performers on the Las Vegas Strip.

1. Frank Marino

Frank Marino, star of “Divas Las Vegas” at The Quad, is the undisputed king of excessive, chronic and unnecessary retouching. Marino often grafts his own head onto the bodies of other performers. On the bright side, Marino differs from the other performers listed here in that he’s in on the joke. He often makes light of his plastic surgeries and love of retouching. He was born in 1965, and looks great without the help, digital or otherwise.

We love you for you, Frank. Enough with the retouching and plastic surgeries, already.

We love you for you, Frank. Enough with the retouching and plastic surgeries, already.

2. Marie Osmond

Marie Osmond is a bit of a control freak when it comes to having her photo taken, and insists that any photo of her be “tweaked” before it’s shared with the world. She’s 54, but with Photoshop, she’s holding steady at 34.

Marie Osmond

Sadly, women feel even more pressure than men to use retouching to hold onto their youthful appearance, especially in entertainment.

3. George Wallace

Former Flamingo headliner George Wallace had one of the funniest shows in Las Vegas. Somebody, please step away from the Photoshop. Yes, George has moved on from his gig at Flamingo, but he’s still on our list, mainly because we’re too lazy to update it.

This photo appeared in Vegas Seven magazine. Photoshopped hands? Really?

This photo appeared in Vegas Seven magazine. Photoshopped hands? Really?

4. Carrot Top

Again, one of the funniest shows in town, and one of the most-retouched performers on The Strip. Real name: Scott Thompson, age 48. Eight years (as of Nov. 22, 2013) and counting at Luxor Las Vegas.

We like his hair the other way.

We like Scott’s hair the other way.

5. Celine

Celine Dion isn’t just a Las Vegas performer, of course, she belongs to the world. But worldwide success doesn’t mean you have a sense of when retouching has gone into WTF territory.

Plasticity level: Extreme.

Plasticity level: Extreme.

6. Zowie Bowie

Chris Phillips, better known by his stage name Zowie Bowie, has been a Las Vegas lounge singer forever, and has never met a skin-smoothing Photoshop action he didn’t like.

The actual Zowie Bowie looks 14% like this.

The actual Zowie Bowie looks 14% like this.

So, what do you think about performers who love them some retouching? Is it a necessary evil of being in the entertainment industry, or a sad expression of vanity? Have you come across other examples of awkward Photoshop jobs in Las Vegas (like those used in Las Vegas hotel advertising)? If so, send them our way!

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  • Nicole

    if they just had the photographer hold the camera high they wouldn’t need photo shop!

    • ElectricGypsy

      I suspect you don’t need photoshop, Nicole, you strike me as naturally beautiful.

      Here’s a new one for the “shame on photoshop” hall of fame: Suzanne Sommers. She can really hide her age well in certain circumstances. I saw her for five minutes recently on Dancing with the Stars… she did now look like Chrissy Snow that night!

      • Oh, yes, the latest perpetrator. It’s really dramatic. Mariah, too.