Five Decrepit Music Legends You Can See in Las Vegas

Las Vegas has a way of making us all feel like kids again! It’s an adult playground, after all.

So, it’s not surprise many aging music stars make their way to Vegas to show the world they’ve still got it. Here are five guys in their 60s you can catch in Las Vegas.

1. Alice Cooper

“The Godfather of Shock Rock” might be more appropriately called “The Grandfather of Shock Rock” these days, but whatever you call him, Alice Cooper (65) is coming to The Palms on Nov. 27, 2013.

Things that are timeless: Alice Cooper, fake blood, boa constrictors.

Alice Cooper has single-handedly kept the fake blood industry in the black for decades.

2. Meat Loaf

Mr. Loaf (65) has brought his unique brand of belting to Planet Hollywood for 18 shows through Nov. 5, 2013. Meat Loaf’s performances are part of a larger series featuring rock royalty, “RockTellz & CockTails.”

At one time, Meat Loaf gained nearly 70 pounds to avoid being drafted into the army.

At one time, Meat Loaf gained nearly 70 pounds to avoid being drafted into the army.

3. Carlos Santana

Carlos Santana (66) may not be a great driver, but he certainly can wail on the guitar. He’s a resident performer at the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay.  Here’s the schedule.

Carlos Santana learned to play the violin at age 5. Playing the guitar has paid a little better.

Carlos Santana learned to play the violin at age 5. Playing the guitar has paid a little better.

4. Elton John

Elton John (66) continues to display his box office clout, packing them in at Caesars Palace as a resident headliner. Just remember, old guys can get cranky, so plan accordingly. Here’s a list of his upcoming shows.

Elton John, the man who inspired millions to request that Tony Danza hold them closer.

Elton John, the man who inspired millions to request that Tony Danza hold them closer.

5. Lou Gramm

His name might not be as recognizable as the other folks on this list, but Lou Gramm (63) is part of music’s elite, nevertheless. He was the lead singer of Foreigner, with a number of hits and legions of fans. Gramm will be appearing in “Raiding the Rock Vault” at LVH (formerly the Las Vegas Hilton), Oct. 18-22, 2013. Learn more about this show that brings together rock’s “Cocoon” club.

If there were ever going to be a superhero with the power to copy edit, he would be given Lou Gramm's real name: Louis Andrew Grammatico.

If there were ever going to be a superhero with the power to proofread, he would be given Lou Gramm’s real last name: Grammatico.

Bonus Old Guy: David Bowie

Nothing’s been confirmed, but rumors are swirling about David Bowie (66) coming to Las Vegas, at least according to our buddy, Norm Clarke, at the Las Vegas Review Journal.

First rule of rock immortality? Hire someone who's good with Photoshop.

First rule of rock immortality? Hire someone who’s good with Photoshop. See also Elton John.

Come see music greats as they desperately cling to their former glory!

Which, we’re thinking, would make a great tourism slogan for the Las Vegas Visitors and Convention Authority.

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  • detroit1051

    They’re all youngsters. Regional and tribal casinos have been lifesavers for all the “almost has-been” entertainers.

  • David Elliott

    i saw meat loaf at irving plaza in NYC about 2 years ago. and it was beyond awful. dude just can’t belt out those songs like he used to.