Caesars Entertainment Announces Bake Sale to Address Massive Debt

The world’s largest casino company, Caesars Entertainment, has announced what could be a real game-changer in terms of lowering its seemingly insurmountable $23.5 billion in corporate debt.

The company will host a bake sale in an attempt to rid itself of some of what it owes banks, bond holders and other creditors.

Caesars employees have been encouraged to "bake one for the team."

Caesars Entertainment employees have been encouraged to “bake one for the team.”

The bake sale comes amidst persistent rumors about a potential Chapter 11 bankruptcy and reorganization.

“We heard some skeptics when this initiative was coming together,” said Caesars Entertainment CEO Gary Loveman. “We’re OK with that, because once they see how we’re moving these lemon bars, I think our critics will be silenced, and not just because their mouths are full.”

"Our focus group testing shows cakes and muffins should do especially well with our Total Rewards customers," asserts Loveman.

“Market testing shows cinnamon-based pastries will perform especially well with our Total Rewards customers,” asserts Loveman.

Caesars Entertainment has gone to great lengths to mobilize its employees and business partners for the bake sale, and the gaming giant’s much-lauded marketing machine has pulled out all the stops.

Signs featuring provocative “teasers” have been popping up across the company’s casino-hotel destinations to raise awareness about the revenue-raising effort.

Technically, those aren't muffins.

Technically, those aren’t muffins.

An engagement effort has also been made “back-of-house,” with calls for employees to donate their favorite treats, because, in the words of internal communications, “Taking a big bite out of our company’s debt would sure be sweet!”

Says one industry insider, "Nothing says fiscal solvency like cupcakes."

Says one industry insider, “Nothing says fiscal solvency like cupcakes.”

Loveman added, “During challenging economic times, companies have to get creative. That sometimes means getting back to basics. Renewing a commitment to efficiency. Improving customer service. Seeking out new revenue streams. And, yes, often, rum cake.”

When asked what measurable impact the bake sale would have on Caesars Entertainment’s crushing debt load, Loveman responded, “We try to avoid forward-looking statements, including, without limitation, those relating to future actions, strategies, future performance, the outcome of contingencies such as legal proceedings and future financial results that could cause actual results to differ materially from those suggested by our forward-looking statements.” Clarification of Loveman’s statement was not immediately forthcoming.

Items up for sale at the fundraising event are expected to include Blackjack Brownies, Total Rewards Scones, Linq Whoopie Pies, Osmond Cornbread, Flamingo Flan, Bally’s Bran Muffins, Macau Macaroons and other temptations.

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  • Mr. Bill

    So, in a few weeks when I’m in town, I won’t be surprised when the Dutch Boy painter adopts this fine suggestion. You forgot Toby Keith tater tots though!

    • vitalvegas

      Too good, thanks!