Scroguard Should Be A Vital Part of Any Las Vegas Adventure

There are certain things you just have to have in Las Vegas. Cash. Comfortable shoes. The phone number of a good bail bondsman. Now, there’s another vital addition to your Las Vegas must list: Scroguard.

Put simply, Scroguard is a product designed “to cover the skin in the genital area not covered by a condom to reduce skin-to-skin contact in the scrotum and pubic region.” And, no, we are not making this up.


How is Howie Mandel not a spokesperson for this product? Yet.

This stunningly one-night-stand-friendly product is disposable and washable, made of premium quality latex, is lightweight and fits waists up to 48 inches.

We noted there’s no mention of possible girthiness challenges in the Scroguard product description, but we’ll get past it. Customers, we mean. Customers will get past it.

Here’s a fascinating, borderline disturbing, but probably safe for work video illustrating the benefits of: 1) Scroguard and 2) having a larger budget for the production of promotional videos.

Scroguard, a word this blog is still not entirely comfortable typing, is a steal at just $19.99, and “shipping is discreet.” Oh, and if you’re delusionally optimistic, buy in bulk and save; $49.99 for three, $89.99 for six.

We’re thinking this is the greatest invention since Liquid Lapdance underwear.

The biggest potential downside of Scroguard we’re seeing is the possibility the participant in your “main event,” upon seeing your Scroguard contraption, may bolt from the room while simultaneously phoning the authorities. But other than that, your pubic region is golden.

Find out more about Scroguard at the official site.

Mirage Las Vegas Celebrates Its 25th Birthday

Mirage Las Vegas is 25 years old! The hotel-casino opened on Nov. 22, 1989.

Mirage Las Vegas volcano

Mirage Las Vegas. It’s the volcano one.

The Mirage was built by resort mogul Steve Wynn, and its opening was a turning point in Las Vegas history. Journalist Steve Friess wrote a great item in Las Vegas Weekly about “How the Mirage Remade Las Vegas.” You should read it.

Mirage Mermaid

This mermaid statue is one of the most-touched things in Las Vegas, other than this blog’s sister.

A remarkable revelation in the Las Vegas Weekly story is about the fact the Mirage nearly happened in downtown Las Vegas, rather than on The Strip. After his success running the Golden Nugget, Steve Wynn wanted to build the Mirage “across the railroad tracks on a plot of Union Pacific land that’s now home to the Clark County Government Center.”

Wynn offered the railroad $50 million for 50 acres, but the railroad wanted twice that for the land. Wynn balked and the rest is history.

Mirage lobby

Behind the Mirage’s registration desk is a 53-foot-long aquarium. It’s gorgeous and calms the nerves of people in line to check in.

The Mirage is one of the most iconic hotels in Las Vegas, having been featured in a slew of movies, including “Vegas Vacation,” “Ocean’s Eleven,” “Volcano” and “The Wolf of Wall Street.” Which we knew off the top of our Wikipedia.

Mirage Carnegie Deli

This is sandwich from Carnegie Deli at the Mirage. It’s a special 25th birthday sandwich. And that’s the story we’re sticking to.

When the Mirage was built, it was the most expensive hotel-casino in the world. It cost $630 million. Which Steve Wynn pretty much keeps on his person these days.

In the Mirage’s first full year of operation, it made $800 million. By comparison, Caesars Palace made $300 million. So, yeah, it was pretty much a home run.

Love show

“Love,” an homage to The Beatles at Mirage, is one of the best-reviewed Cirque du Soleil shows in a town where you can’t walk 15 feet without tripping over a Cirque du Soleil show.

At one time (from 1990 to 2003), the Mirage was known for being the home of “Siegfried & Roy.” That storied run didn’t end particularly well, as you may have heard. The hotel’s Siegfried & Roy’s Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat remains a draw, despite the fact a dolphin attraction has no business being in the middle of a desert.

Puppetmaster Terry Fator also performs at the Mirage. He had to pull a lot of strings to get that job. (Related: We’ll be here all week.)

We’d like to congratulate the Mirage on its 25th birthday, specifically by putting it over our knee and spanking it. Unless that’s weird. If so, then nevermind and enjoy our photo gallery of the Las Vegas Strip’s first mega-resort. There have been others, but you never forget your first.

Mirage Las Vegas

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Sources Confirm Bruce Springsteen, Rolling Stones Will Join Rock in Rio USA Music Festival Line-Up

Some heavy hitters have already been announced for 2015′s Rock in Rio USA music festival in Las Vegas, but we’ve exclusively confirmed two more legendary acts are joining the line-up: Bruce Springsteen and The Rolling Stones.

Two confidential festival insiders (one at MGM Resorts, one at Rock in Rio USA) independently confirmed Springsteen and The Stones will take part in the festivities expected to draw 300,000 people over the four days of the event.

Rock in Rio USA happens May 8-9 and May 15-16, 2015.

Bruce Springsteen

The first song Bruce Springsteen ever learned on the guitar was “Twist and Shout” by The Beatles.

With the news of these two additions to the Rock in Rio 2015 roster, the event is shaping up to be the most impressive live music festival in the history of Las Vegas.

The original Rock in Rio festival happened in Brazil in 1985 and the 14 installments of the festival were attended by 7.4 million people, not a single one of whom consumed any sort of illicit drugs. Or we might be completely making that last part up.

Other confirmed Rock in Rio USA performers include Bruno Mars, Linkin Park, Taylor Swift, Metallica, No Doubt, Ed Sheeran, Joss Stone, John Legend, Rise Against, the Deftones and others.

The Rolling Stones

The Rolling Stones song “Gimme Shelter” was featured in the movie “Casino.” Hey, we’re a Las Vegas blog, we weren’t going to mention that?

There’s no word on when “The Boss” and The Rolling Stones will be officially announced (the full roster is likely to come out in January), but this particular Las Vegas blog believes waiting for official announcements is for babies. Why is Rock in Rio USA waiting to announce Springsteen and The Stones? The festival team clearly understands drama, along with the fact Sin City was built upon the art of the tease.

View the Rock in Rio USA line-up so far.

Beyond the musical luminaries appearing on the festival’s six stages, Rock in Rio USA will feature “streetscapes” (think Disney’s Main Street, U.S.A.) representing Brazil, the U.S. and U.K., as well as a Ferris wheel and zip line.

The 37-acre festival site, called “City of Rock,” is at the intersection of Las Vegas Boulevard and Sahara Avenue, across the street from SLS Las Vegas (formerly the Sahara) and near the Stratosphere.

Rock in Rio USA

There’s a 41% chance we’ll be viewing the Rock in Rio USA festival from the roof of SLS Las Vegas. Just saying.

Here’s a virtual tour of City of Rock.

Rock in Rio 2015 tickets are already on sale.

Explore the Rock in Rio Web site to get a better feel for the music and entertainment juggernaut coming to Las Vegas in 2015.

Rock in Rio USA is poised to be a tectonic shift in Las Vegas entertainment. Like shrimp cocktails were back in the day. But with less cocktail sauce and more rocktail sauce. Which we’re pretty sure isn’t actually a thing.

Rock in Rio 2015 tickets are already on sale.

World Series of Beer Pong Moves Brew-Fueled Mayhem to Riviera Las Vegas

The World Series of Beer Pong, which has long called Flamingo Las Vegas home, will move to the Riviera for its annual festival of extreme liver damage and trash-talking.

The event will be Jan. 1-5, 2015, and contestants from around the world will compete for a $50,000 grand prize. Yes, American dollars.


Archaeologists believe beer was instrumental in the formation of civilizations. The World Series of Beer Pong is sort of a step in the opposite direction.

This year marks the 10-year anniversary of the World Series of Beer Pong.

In case you never attended college, beer pong is played with two-person teams, each at the end of an eight-foot-long table. Each side of the table has 10 16-ounce cups, filled with water. (Yes, water. They were going to call it the World Series of Water Pong, but that doesn’t have the same ring to it.) The teams take turns tossing ping-pong balls into the cups of the opposing team. If the ball goes in, that cup is removed. The first team to eliminate its opponents cups wins.

World Series of Beer Pong

Lots of women compete in the World Series of Beer Pong. Insert your own ball-handling joke here.

While the use of water instead of beer may sound like a buzzkill, trust us, beer is consumed in ample quantities. The event organizers switched to water in 2014 to avoid showing beer on-air during TV coverage.

Making the competition extraordinarily fun is the fact teams often dress in costume, sometimes offensively so. Also, a big part of the beer pong experience is verbal intimidation. Watching the World Series of Beer Pong is not only entertaining, you are likely to also learn a few new words.

Beer Pong World Series

When you don’t have cleavage to distract your opponents, you have to get creative.

Registration is now open for this year’s festivities. Registration starts at $500 per player and includes a four-night stay at Riviera.

Sound steep? An astonishing $500,000 in prizes has been awarded at World Series of Beer Pong competitions since the organization’s inception.

World Series of Beer Pong

As if you needed further proof there are some things you can’t unsee.

The World Series of Beer Pong is a uniquely Vegas event, so let the good times froth.

Security Breach-a-Palooza: Catching Up On a Metric Ass-Ton of New Things at Caesars Palace

Wow. What a difference a few weeks makes in Las Vegas.

During a recent visit to Caesars Palace, we were so overwhelmed with all the Vegas newness, we nearly swooned. And we’re not typically a swooner, except in the presence of Kim Kardashian magazine covers.

First, the hotel’s Race & Sports Book has sprouted a serpentining $1.6 million bar. It’s impressive, and has completely transformed this beloved sports book. Unfortunately, photos aren’t allowed in the casino, so we won’t be able to share the photo below. Or it would be considered a security breach.

Caesars Palace bar

TV screens for the thrill of victory. Video poker screens for the agony of defeat.

Behind the new bar is a two-level seating area. The sports book butts up against the casino’s poker room. Note: Typically, in Las Vegas, butting up against things costs extra.

Caesars Palace sports book

Caesars Palace has always been a popular spot for sports bettors, many of whom like to be called “bettors” because it sounds fancy.

Next to the Caesars Palace sports book is a gigantic construction wall. This is either the space where Pure nightclub will transform into Omnia, or an open invitation to Banksy.

Caesars Omnia

Technically, if enough people buy hot dogs at that stand, Omnia nightclub will never need to open. Hey, we can dream.

A few feet farther is the space formerly occupied by Munchbar, which we always thought sounded a little dirty, but we didn’t want to say anything.

Munchbar will be replaced by Searsucker restaurant. The restaurant is being brought to Caesars Palace by Hakkasan Group, the nightclub company that’s also shape-shifting Pure into Omnia (for nearly $40 million). Unless everybody in Las Vegas buys, like, a thousand hot dogs each.

Caesars Searsucker

Munchbar, ashamed by its failure, tries to hide behind a pillar.

Searsucker, in the running for “Worst Restaurant Name, Ever,” will be 7,500-square-feet and have “design highlights that include coarse rope chandeliers that look like lassos, neon ‘Eat’ signs, tumbleweed-shaped light fixtures and rustic wood and marble tables, as well as several large whimsical paintings on the subject of food.” A cowboy culture theme in the middle of a Roman-themed hotel sounds like a match made in heaven, because we all know how well things went in “West World.”

Read more Searsucker. Moving on.

Elsewhere in the casino, there’s a new Starbucks where Java Coast used to be, near the former Cypress Street Marketplace food court. Don’t jump ahead.


Given the proximity of this Starbucks to the casino (four feet away) we predict a fistfight between coffee and cigarettes for fragrance domination.

And, yes, the Cypress Street Marketplace has been walled and curtained off. A $2.9 million retooling of the space is in the works.

Cypress Street Caesars

Say “Ciao!” to Cypress Street Marketplace. Unless “ciao” means “hello.” Or maybe “ciao” is the Italian “aloha.” We are a blog, not a linguist.

How far along is the renovation? How would we know? Did you skip the part about there being walls around the construction area? What are we, serial security breachors? (Don’t answer that.)

Cypress Street closed

First, blank slate, then more Vegas newness.

Why we’re fascinated by behind-the-scenes construction photos, we may never know. Stop with the psychoanalysis and just enjoy.

Cypress Street closed

We have learned exactly nothing from this security breach.

Time to head into the Forum Shops at Caesars Palace.

You know the Forum Shops. It’s that shopping complex we tend to only mention when we have a photo we want to show off. Yeah, that Forum Shops.

Forum Shops Las Vegas

We could look at this all day. Just like your mom. Meaning, your mom could also look at it all day. Why, what were you thinking?

First, there’s some newness in the form of what’s not there anymore.

The Gods of the Festival fountain has vanished. (Thanks to our friends at Vegas Chatter for the heads up.) This was the mall’s other lame talking statue attraction. The main lame talking statue attraction is the Fall of Atlantis, renovated in 2013, but no less lame for having been renovated.

Festival Fountain

Here’s the Festival Fountain before it was removed. Yes, we have a time machine. That explains why this blog looks perpetually young.

Now, there’s whole lot of nothing. Unless you consider a void something. Then, you’re just being impudent. The void is pictured below.

Forum Shops

Ah, the memories. Which we didn’t exactly ever have, but just play along.

There’s some new construction in the area near Casa Fuente, a cigar lounge and nausea emporium. Sorry, not a fan of foul-smelling, oral cavity cancer-causing penis substitutes. All due respect.

Anyway, the Forum Shops escalators are being improved and a water feature is being installed.

Forum Shops construction

Let’s just say this fountain won’t give the fountains at Bellagio any sleepless nights.

Learn more from our friends at Eater Vegas.

Here’s a preview of what this area will look like soon.

Forum Shops

This rendering, in another part of the Forum Shops, shows the finished product of the construction above. We should get a P.I. license.

Our last bit of newness is the recently-opened Border Grill, at the base of the Forum Shops’ spiral escalators. Border Grill replaces the struggling P.J. Clarke’s.

Mesa Grill Caesars Palace

This Border Grill is the sister restaurant of the one at Mandalay Bay. And, since they’re sisters, we trust they’ll be wearing each other’s sweaters.

What have we learned from the ever-evolving Caesars Palace? That Las Vegas is like a shark. Specifically, it has a covering of dermal denticles that protects its skin from parasites.

Or perhaps we’ve learned Las Vegas is like a shark in that it must keep moving to survive.

We may also have learned “posting lots of photos in a Las Vegas blog” is almost like “having a life.”

Why do we always have to learn things, anyway?

Can’t we just enjoy this time together. You in your cubicle, us in our underwear. Unless that’s awkward. The cubicle part, that is.

If you stumble across new or interesting things during your Las Vegas adventures, we’d love to hear about them. Leave a comment. Drop us a line. Or just tell our sister. She’s a world-class gossipor.

Downtown’s Carson Kitchen Warrants Venturing Off the Eaten Path

Chef Kerry Simon’s Carson Kitchen has gotten some great reviews since it opened in June of 2014, and it’s well worth venturing a block off Fremont East to enjoy a menu that’s full of quirky, surprising dishes with a focus on shared plates.

Carson Kitchen

Not everything downtown has to have neon on it, you know.

Carson Kitchen is at the intersection of Sixth Street and Carson Avenue, in the renovated John E. Carson Building. The building is also home to O Face Doughnuts, Bud & Vine (a flower shop), the new Bocho Downtown Sushi and other small businesses.

Carson Kitchen can be a little tough to spot at first, but again, well worth finding.

Carson Kitchen

No, they didn’t forget to finish the ceiling. In Vegas, that’s a thing.

The restaurant has two levels, including a charming upstairs patio. There’s a full bar both upstairs and downstairs, so either works fine for this blog.

Carson Kitchen patio

The patio is awesome during the two weeks in Las Vegas when it’s not 120-degrees or 20-degrees.

In case you’ve never heard of Kerry Simon, he’s the chef behind a couple of Las Vegas restaurants, KGB: Kerry’s Gourmet Burgers at Harrah’s and Simon Restaurant & Lounge at Palms Place.

Simon was once dubbed the “Rock ‘n’ Roll Chef” by Rolling Stone magazine (because of all his musician friends and customers), and he stepped into the national spotlight when he won a hamburger battle on “Iron Chef America” in 2005.

The ailing chef (Simon was diagnosed in 2013 with Multiple System Atrophy, a terminal illness) was very much involved in creating the menu at Carson Kitchen, and it reflects his thoughtful, often-playful culinary sensibilities.

Kerry Simon

We took this pic of chef Kerry Simon back in 2010.

If you’d like to know more about chef Simon, here’s a story in Esquire, as well as a story we did about him for Today in Las Vegas magazine.

On with the food.

Because the menu features lots of small plates, called “Social Plates” on the menu, you’ll get to try a few dishes and explore flavors you may never have experienced before.

Carson Kitchen

You’ve probably had crispy chicken skins before, but have these.

Nothing too crazy or exotic, and since it’s downtown, nothing pretentious. Just some food that’s fun and value-priced, especially when compared to similar restaurants on The Strip.

Carson Kitchen devils eggs

The Devil’s Eggs, with pancetta and caviar ($8). Don’t worry, they’ll make more.

Check out the full Carson Kitchen menu.

Carson Kitchen

Think you know Spam? Try these Spam Croquettes with jalapeno creamy mustard ($8). You don’t know everything.

We hear Kerry Simon still visits Carson Kitchen often, but the day-to-day duties are left to Executive Chef Matt Andrews. Read an interview with Andrews.

Carson Kitchen gyro tacos

The Gyro Tacos with lamb, tzatziki, cucumber and tomato ($10).

Also on the modest menu are burgers, flat breads, “Meat and Fish” items and “Farm and Garden” selections.

Carson Kitchen Butter Burger

Kerry Simon shines when he does burgers. This is his Butter Burger ($14). Bonus: Tots.

One of our favorites was the Wellington Empanada ($10).

Carson Kitchen

This dish has duxelle, an item we looked up on the Internet and still don’t quite grasp. We are a Las Vegas blog, not a food ingredient grasper.

The menu also features desserts like a Bourbon Fudge Brownie and Glazed Donut Bread Pudding.

Oh, and Kerry Simon’s take on Twinkies.

Carson Kitchen Twinkies

Less sweet than real Twinkies, but some people seem to like that.

Overall, the service is friendly, although a little inconsistent at times. As we mentioned, there’s liquor, so who even notices such things?

Carson Kitchen bar

There’s a solid variety of beer, wine and specialty cocktails. See the beverage menu.

Carson Kitchen joins an ever-growing list of must-try restaurants in downtown Las Vegas, including Pizza Rock, Nacho Daddy, La Comida and others.

At Kerry Simon’s Carson Kitchen, the prices are right, the vibe is laid-back and the menu is a testament to a chef whose personality shines through even in the midst of the fight of his life.

Kerry Simon's Carson Kitchen

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